Teerget.

In the spirit of springtime and daylight savings time, I decided to look at bathing suits. Granted, I hate shopping for bathing suits. It makes my security in my body drop dramatically. However, I was with a friend. I had moral support. I was at Target. I was feeling good. I even pulled a cute little two piece off the shelf. And then...

...I met the Teerget lady.

Anyone ever seen the SNL sketch of Kristen Wigg doing the Teerget lady? It is mahvelous. However, this Teerget lady was not. The SNL Teerget lady is obnoxious, but at least she is friendly. The real life Teerget lady was the stereotypical lady at the counter. Bad make-up, even worse hair. But I tried not to judge. I was going to be friendly! She did have about 49 bathing suits to put back on the hanger and 13 year old girls were loading them onto the carts beside her in droves. She was also in her 60's and probably just wanted to go enjoy the pretty weather outside like any other person.

Me: "Hi! How are you doing today?"

T.L. : "How many?"

Me: Ouch. Tinker, tinker, tinker, trying to count fast. I'm no good at math! Poop! She's already getting frustrated! "Um...I have 9." Whew.

T.L. : "You can only have 4 bathing suits..."

Okay. So maybe this story isn't the best story. I don't remember what she said because Target has THE most ridiculous bathing suit/try-on policy I've ever heard in my life. I still don't get it. But I was so frustrated! I couldn't understand what she was saying and every time I tried to take clothes back she FLIPPED OUT. Apparently, I look like shop lifter. Yeah. Okay. What a thugmuffin I am in my little black t-shirt and jeans and homemade button necklace with my hair in french braid pigtails. I mean, really, lady. I am not going to try on these bathing suits and hide them in my clothes or my purse that looks like a bowling ball bag. I will return them to you WITH the hanger attached to save you the trouble. Because YOU look like you've had a pretty crappy day. And I would like to be nice and make you happy. But, no. You won't let people make you happy.

I had a conversation with her, (actually, it was me role-playing with myself in the dressing room)
and I told her that I hope she found Jesus because He could soften her heart and make streams of living water flow out of her. In my role-playing, we hugged and she let me take my 9 articles of clothing in the dressing room.