It is raining. I hear it from inside my little room. I'm not in my regular house. It is a new place to me. The owners are in the Bahamas. I'm watering their plants, sleeping in their bed, and making sure no burglars come and get their stuff - although the most important stuff (aka the scuba diving gear) was taken away with them on their trip. I'm lonely. It is a lonely night. I'm happy with that. Sometimes it is good to just get away from the noise of the world and be by yourself. Just to listen to the rain water the plants I watered this morning. I hope they don't drown. I can't wait to experience a thunderstorm like this in my own house. Hopefully I won't be lonely. Even if I just have a big dog that is afraid of storms, I would be content with that.
The rain will help me sleep tonight. It will remind me that tomorrow will be a new day. Probably a very humid day, but a new one, nonetheless.
And that is the kind of news I need to hear right now.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
situation manipulation, part 1
I am not assertive. I don't make decisions. Granted, I do place a lot of value in decisions but overall I hate making them. Most of the time I just like to be. I like other people to take charge.
Shall we now cue Emily and Kendra? I think so.
They are marvelous women. Creative, cute, friendly...the list goes on. Both of them have that "it" factor. The factor that makes you watch them and think to yourself, "Wow. I want to be in their club. I want to be their sister or friend or (if you are a man) husband or (if you are a mother-in-law with an appropriately aged son) daughter-in-law." Recently, they performed the situation manipulation. It was very enjoyable. They were assertive for me in a very awkward social situation by prodding, encouraging, and sometimes forcing. But what would I have done without them? I certainly would not have had nearly as much fun. They are very good situation manipulators. Emily can capture the situation manipulation moments on camera. Then she can email them to you without anyone knowing. Kendra can encourage the conversation along and try to get you in prime situations as well as give you pointers and pep talks.
Today, think about your situation manipulators. These are the people that love you so much that they would take time out of their day to make your day happier or make that dream-like moment come true. Thank you, Kendra and Emily. Thank you for being assertive, encouraging, and at times - forceful. I needed that this weekend. :)
Shall we now cue Emily and Kendra? I think so.
They are marvelous women. Creative, cute, friendly...the list goes on. Both of them have that "it" factor. The factor that makes you watch them and think to yourself, "Wow. I want to be in their club. I want to be their sister or friend or (if you are a man) husband or (if you are a mother-in-law with an appropriately aged son) daughter-in-law." Recently, they performed the situation manipulation. It was very enjoyable. They were assertive for me in a very awkward social situation by prodding, encouraging, and sometimes forcing. But what would I have done without them? I certainly would not have had nearly as much fun. They are very good situation manipulators. Emily can capture the situation manipulation moments on camera. Then she can email them to you without anyone knowing. Kendra can encourage the conversation along and try to get you in prime situations as well as give you pointers and pep talks.
Today, think about your situation manipulators. These are the people that love you so much that they would take time out of their day to make your day happier or make that dream-like moment come true. Thank you, Kendra and Emily. Thank you for being assertive, encouraging, and at times - forceful. I needed that this weekend. :)
Thursday, June 12, 2008
the pink tree with the flowers on it.
Things have changed. Lots of changes. New major, new friends, no boyfriend, new responsibilities at work, new attitude, new clothes, I went to New York!
I'm dying my hair.
Today, one of my favorite patients entered the office. I would love to tell you her name, but that would be a violation of HIPAA. She is 92, loves the Lord, and is the biggest fireball you will ever meet. "Violet" was enraptured by the pink tree outside the window. It wasn't a dogwood, it isn't some weird bush. It is a large tree with beautiful pink blossoms on it. During the Winter she would have been able to identify it, but now that the blossoms are there it is throwing her off. I love this tree. It is a reminder that just because different colored blossoms appear on this tree that people aren't used to...doesn't mean that they love the tree any less.
I am trying to make myself not feel guilty for needing an after-break-up makeover. A lot of people don't want me to dye my hair, but it is a much-needed thing that needs to occur. I need a change. Even though there have been a good amount of changes around me, I want some changes to occur WITH me. I guess I want to have control of this change.
Yesterday I went and hiked a 5.3 mile trail. That is hardcore for me. I don't do the outdoors. But I did it and loved it. I never take risks. I never do anything that will really rock the boat because I don't want to disappoint anyone. But I need to rock the boat every now and then. As long as I'm not sinning against God - I'm golden. I can rock the boat by hiking, walking in the rain, wearing my dress two days in a row just because I like it. Tonight, I am rocking the boat by going blonde. Does this make the tree less recognizable? Yes. Does this make the tree and sucky-life tree? No. Welcome, newly colored blossoms!
I'm dying my hair.
Today, one of my favorite patients entered the office. I would love to tell you her name, but that would be a violation of HIPAA. She is 92, loves the Lord, and is the biggest fireball you will ever meet. "Violet" was enraptured by the pink tree outside the window. It wasn't a dogwood, it isn't some weird bush. It is a large tree with beautiful pink blossoms on it. During the Winter she would have been able to identify it, but now that the blossoms are there it is throwing her off. I love this tree. It is a reminder that just because different colored blossoms appear on this tree that people aren't used to...doesn't mean that they love the tree any less.
I am trying to make myself not feel guilty for needing an after-break-up makeover. A lot of people don't want me to dye my hair, but it is a much-needed thing that needs to occur. I need a change. Even though there have been a good amount of changes around me, I want some changes to occur WITH me. I guess I want to have control of this change.
Yesterday I went and hiked a 5.3 mile trail. That is hardcore for me. I don't do the outdoors. But I did it and loved it. I never take risks. I never do anything that will really rock the boat because I don't want to disappoint anyone. But I need to rock the boat every now and then. As long as I'm not sinning against God - I'm golden. I can rock the boat by hiking, walking in the rain, wearing my dress two days in a row just because I like it. Tonight, I am rocking the boat by going blonde. Does this make the tree less recognizable? Yes. Does this make the tree and sucky-life tree? No. Welcome, newly colored blossoms!
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